Other Entertainment


August 6th would  be Lucille Ball’s 100th Birthday, but unfortunately she passed away in 1989.  For an over-the-top writer like me, Lucy’s always been a real inspiration.

Lucy inspired legions of folks, including other celebrities.

“God wanted the world to laugh and He invented you.”

Sammy Davis Jr., speaking to Lucille Ball at a 1984 tribute in her honor

I’ve described my writing style as similar to ”I Love Lucy” except that the hero is Lucy and the heroine is Desi. 

Happy Birthday, Lucy.  I bet you’re just making ‘em laugh on a bigger stage now.

I promised everyone that I’d post my last piece written for The Marianne’s Blog after another blog or two had been posted.  So, without further ado – here it is! 

ABC and NBC are spending a lot of $$$ to market sexism to a new generation. An insidious media campaign is helping the networks along by working to convincing women that they’re not smart enough to know the difference between real life and make believe. Wouldn’t the little ladies be a lot happier if they just returned to their “place?”

NBC is at least being honest and “in your face” about its intentions. There’s nothing subtle about the sexist message behind their new Fall TV show – “The Playboy Club.” The “About the Show” section of NBC’s Playboy page puts the message right out there. It says: “It’s the early ’60s, and the legendary Playboy Club in Chicago is the door to all your fantasies… and the key is the most sought-after status symbol of its time. Step inside the seductive world of the Bunny, the epitome of beauty and service, and rub shoulders with the decade’s biggest mobsters, politicos and entertainers (like Tina Turner and Sammy Davis, Jr.)”

The Playboy Club will feature Eddie Cibrian starring as Nick, the dapper hero presiding over a world of grown women who saunter around in tiny little plunging neckline bunny suits, complete with fuzzy tails and matching bunny ears. Hugh Heffner’s voice over says that Nick’s world was an amazing place where “everything was perfect, where life was magic, where … fantasies became realities for everyone who walked through the door.”  Hef’s tagline doesn’t add ……. except for the women selling their dignity to make a dollar – but that would’ve been a little too honest now, wouldn’t it?

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“Evel” Dick Donato was removed from the house this week because of “a personal matter.” As a result of the ouster, Dick’s playing partner and daughter, Daniele, got a golden key. So she’s safe for the next few weeks.

Interesting.

Did anyone really believe that Dick and Daughter hadn’t spoken for the last 3 years? I think that their pretend feud was designed to give ‘em playing room. It also meant that a lot of the houseguests probably felt free to confide in Daniele about her Dad. If their heads were gonna be on the chopping block, she might’ve known.

I’m guessing that either Dick made up a crisis or behaved “Evel” enough to get tossed out. He’d likely guessed that his ouster would get his daughter a golden key.

Has anyone forgotten that in his season Dick tried to throw the vote to his daughter? Now, he likely thinks it’s her turn to win the game. So Daddy gave her a golden chance.

If I’m right about the scheme, it’s an awfully nice thing for an “Evel” guy to do.

Big Brother premiers on Thursday, July 7th at 9pm.  Goody. 

Trapping a group of people who have opposite personalities and lifestyles  into a house with no entertainment but each other? That’s my kind of fun – as long as I’m watching and not playing.  It’s even more fun these days because the current generation is used to being so connected electronically.  Think about it – no TV, no Computer, no Cell Phone, no iPad or Kindle.  They can’t Tweet or Facebook. 

The trauma –

I love watching the contestants playing mind games on each other for fun and profit. And it’s always interesting to try to predict who’ll be the new couple doing the down and dirty.  There’s always at least one – and sometimes two.  I’d be damned suspicious of a man who wanted to do the bedsheet boogie when the whole country is watching.  If he’ll do that, I predict nude photos will be plastered all over cyberspace before y’all have been back in the real world for a month. 

This year they’re bringing back past duos.  Now that’s gotta be fun.  Will they still be together when the season starts? How about when it ends?  Will any of them be exes?  Of course, it won’t all be couples but I’ll bet they’ll be my favorite.  It’s a romance author’s dream entertainment – Forced love or forced hate – it’s bound to be fun. 

I’m looking forward to seeing the cast! 

On Thursday night, I’ll be curled up on the couch with the remote waiting for 9 pm and singing – “Let’s do the mind warp again….”

A pair of women – a Mormon psychologist and a Wall Street Analyst turned author -  desperately wanted to sell their non-romance books in a romance novel world. Clearly, they’d do better if all those darned women would just stop buying romance. How to accomplish that?  Well, they came up with a bizarre theory – romance novels can be as addictive as pornography. 

Yes, all of us deviant romance readers have been silently suffering under the weight of a horrific and dangerous addiction – reading romance novels.  The diabolically deluded duo say that reading romance promotes dissatisfaction with your real life relationships and may even lead to an affair.  But fear not, say the diabolically deluded duo – they have a plan.   What is it, you ask?

To overcome addiction to romance, you should READ BOOKS OF A DIFFERENT GENRE.   And again, what do the ladies who came up with the theory do?  They write books.  And what kind of books?  Not romance novels.  Yes, Virginia, these authors really did think women were stupid enough to fall for that load of self-serving swill. 

Did anybody fall for it?  Not so much.  However, lots of folks had a really good time with the whole idea that romance is as addictive as porn. One of the best places to express pithy punditry these days is Twitter.  The fiasco spawned its own hashtag, #romancekills.  Below are some of my favorite tweets from that hashtag. I’m listing the author of the tweet as best I can tell – I’ve told y’all before (on the Marianne’s Blog) that Twitter is the “Bing” commercial, on steroids.  It can be hard to follow. If I’ve misquoted or incorrectly attributed anything, it wasn’t out of malice. It was Bing-Bong Syndrome. 

Check out these tweets and if you have a Twitter account (and you should) after you follow me, you should definitely follow every one of these folks!   Now, without further ado – because I’ve a-done enough already – here are my personal favorite tweets from #romancekills. Enjoy!!

@ChristinaDodd: Every time a woman reads a romance novel, her lover dies…slowly, and with great pleasure.

@JoJosBook Corner: Woot Our she-army of oversexed females shall conquer the Earth. Men shall fear (and desire) us.

@TessaDare: Every time a bodice rips, a kitten cries.

@LimeCello: Know why Thomas Hardy wrote the original cliff hanger? He was reading a romance novel & couldn’t be bothered to finish writing

@CourtneyMilan: Romance novels killed the radio store, and blamed it on video.

@LimeCello: You want to know why Atlantis is no more? Romance novels. Sorry archaeologists & historians

@PamelaCayne: For $19.95 I will cast out the romance reading demons from your soul, banishing the bodice ripping monkey on your back forever

@TallStoriesBook: “The Titanic hit that iceberg because the lookouts were too busy reading romance novels,” – Amy Boggs

@TallStoriesBook: Jason Pinter : “the destruction of Alderaan was due to Darth Vader reading too many romance novels”

Hey guys, the Irascible Corpulent One here.

I was puttering around on the computer yesterday (as if that’s any different than any other day) when the beloved eldest child o’ mine – the 20-year-old – came in and started discussing a movie that’s coming out soon: The Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

He was bemoaning the fact that originality in movies is practically non-existent, and that every movie in the past ten years or so (with few exceptions) is a remake, a reboot, a sequel, or a prequel. The eldest was flabbergasted that they were now getting ready to release a prequel to a reboot of a movie from the 1960s.

Oh boy, did I have bad news for him. Did I ever.

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Romance Novels Can Be as Addictive As Pornography?

The piece cites that romance sells more than inspirational/self help, notes that women prefer romantic stories to porn and points out that some women who read romance leave their hubbys – so it’s an addiction.

Absurd.  Completely nuts. And that’s the Duck Lady sayin’ that!

If you’re addicted to romance - DON’T TREAT IT, FEED IT – BUY MORE BOOKS & MAKE SURE A LOT OF ‘EM ARE OURS!!

This Grey’s Finale, “Unaccompanied Minor” had a big ole’ meaning that none of the fans were aware of until a day after the episode ended. When Shonda Sunshine revealed the secret, many of the fans were still in shock – a little like those relatives of the plane crash victims. While fans still reeled from the emotional trauma, Sunshine dropped the big one. This epi was written to begin the end for the original cast. Most of the Grey’s originals’ contracts have only 1 season to go. Some of them, like Ellen Pompeo – Meredith – have indicated that they don’t plan to renew.

Sunshine says that’s why this epi set next season’s focus to be on the original cast members.  This is how the end begins for Grey’s Greatest. If imagining Shonda’s version of riding off into the sunset doesn’t get your creative juices flowing then call the coroner — you’re most likely dead.

So, lets dust off the swami turban and recall where this epi left everyone and imagine how Sunshine may be setting up their exits. Before we begin individual prognostications, it’s important to check out the writer’s blog, Grey Matter, done by Debora Cahn, who did an ab fab job of writing this tearjerking episode. Debora says that the heartache flu that swept Seattle Grace’s favorite couples was caused by something fans have adored about Cristina and Meredith from day one: their independence. If the cause is who they are, then is there a cure? Perhaps Sunshine envisions Mer and Cristina growing into old crusty ladies who can never give enough to a partner to stay in a relationship.

Are Mer and Cristina destined to spend forever alone together, growing ever older and crustier?

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Chris Daughtry. Adam Lambert. Now, James Durbin.

In a lot of folks’ opinion, mine included, each was the best of the best of their season. None of them won and only Lambert made it to the finale. Why can’t the best performers win American Idol?

The best of the best – those who are great, rather than merely good – well, they tend to be different. The greatest don’t grow in the middle of the road. Their lives, their views, and their beliefs don’t mirror Middle America. Like their personalities, their staging and performances tend to be over the top.

Since that’s how I describe my writing style, I can relate to their over the top styles, even if I only wish I could relate to the performer’s overall “greatness.” But the bottom line is that the middle of the road is where most of America can be found.

And those folks in the middle – they want an Idol who is like them. So, invariably, that’s what they get. The winner of American Idol will be a good singer, a good performer – but not a great one.

At least this year, I was hedging my bets. I voted for James each week, but I also voted for Scotty who is from “right down the road” in Garner, North Carolina. I think that Scotty has a good chance to win Idol, if the curse of my support doesn’t ruin his chances. If he wins, I’ll be very happy for Scotty and his family. And I’d think he deserved to win – out of the crop that was left.

But the finale won’t be the same without the best competing against each other. A James Durbin/Scotty McCreery finale would have been a battle of the best. I think Scotty will be diminished by not having the chance to go against James in the finale.

There’s always next year. Is it possible that America will ever recall that if the best of the best didn’t win we wouldn’t have electricity, the telephone, or penicillin?

Last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was called “Start Me Up.” And it sure got me started. Pardon me for a bit while I crawl up on my soapbox. Because, you see, I think that “Start Me Up” included the biggest gaffe ever made by Grey’s.

And yes, we’re talking about a show where I’ve not missed an episode since it debuted as a mid-season replacement in 2005. That’s more than a little bit sad, if you think about it, but loyalty is so embedded in my makeup that it may be as much vice as virtue. In all of these years, I’ve not seen the GA writers get it as wrong as they did last night – in one particular scene.

I’m talking about the scene where Teddy’s hubby-for-insurance-only, Henry, was under the knife. Thanks to the quickie marriage and the brand new insurance, Henry can now have surgery for a recurring condition he’s suffered from for years that causes repeated tumors. So newly-insured Henry, now Mr. Teddy,  is on the OR table while the Chief and Bailey are operating. Right in the middle of the surgery, a medical student, who’s observing, makes a comment and it causes the docs to examine Henry’s interior a little closer. And what do they find?

There’s a big ole cyst on Henry’s pancreas. Not just any cyst, this one is a big cancerous cyst that is about to burst and kill Henry. So what do the good docs do? They call in Teddy, Henry’s wife, a cardiac surgeon herself, to find out how Teddy wants them to handle the monstrous cyst.  Does she want it removed?  CAKE OR DEATH?

Teddy and Henry, as noted above, are basically strangers.  She did a good deed by marrying him to get him insured.  Like the cliche says, no good deed goes unpunished and the Chief wants Teddy to crawl.  When the Chief demands her decision, Teddy sort of haltingly says they should remove the cyst.  Then it’s time for a half-shell buffet featuring Teddy, common sense, and the Grey’s writers good judgment and excellent reputations.  Because the Chief tells Teddy – not so fast, girlfrog.  You better think about this.

Chief tells Teddy that if the pancreas is removed or mostly removed, it’ll likely make Henry a Type I diabetic.  Can Henry handle such a serious, such a volatile disease?  Does he have a good family support system?  Teddy doesn’t know.  Then again, she doesn’t know much about her new hubby.  That, of course, was the Chief’s point.  Ultimately, she tells them to remove the cyst and Henry survives the surgery.

But let’s back up for a minute.  Grey’s writers crafted a scene where they asked if it’s better to be a living Type I diabetic or a dead man with an intact pancreas.  WTF???  The Chief, while grilling Teddy, notes that Type I diabetes is a difficult disease to manage, so she should carefully consider whether they should operate or not.  Apparently, the Chief thinks that death is easier to manage than Type I diabetes.

Death never seemed like a manageable condition to me.

You see, I’m a Type I diabetic.  Millions of  living, breathing Americans are Type I diabetics.  I’m betting that, like me, every one of them considers Type I preferable to death.  Type I diabetes is a condition that can be managed.  Outside of some rocking paranormal romance novels, death is pretty much a condition that ends all management.

What makes this even worse is that this scene comes from a show that tries to be oh-so-conscientious about how it portrays G/L/B/TG issues, women’s rights issues and even death penalty issues.  Coming from this show this scene looks like a big, obvious, flat-out insult to millions of American diabetics.

Type I diabetes may not look like cake – unless the other choice is death.

There’s not much I’d carry a picket sign for, but if the American Diabetes Association wants to stage a protest over this one, I just might carry a sign.

Mine would read – No, I’m Not Better Off Dead.

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